The Sue Purge
by snarryvader81
Summary: Anakin Quintavius Xayvion Jayden Zephyr Skywalker, Stu Knight, falls to the Fault Side of the Force and purges all the Sues and Stus from the Galaxy Far, Far Away.


Anakin Quintavius Xayvion Jayden Zephyr Skywalker was an incredibly handsome man, with shimmering locks of honeysuckle that ran all the way down his back, glowing violet blue eyes, flawless tanned skin, and a perfect body. His hair was usually allowed to hang wildly, almost as if an external symbol of his free spirit, while his beautiful body was never restricted by an excess of clothing - a scanty, snugly fitting black leather jumpsuit was all he usually wore.

In addition to his godly looks, Anakin was special in another way. He belonged to a very unique order of beings called "Sues". Though, technically, he was categorized as a 'Stu', being male. The Sue Order were the peacekeepers of the Galaxy Far, Far Away, though they also were worshiped as gods and goddesses, due to their amazing beauty and 'magical' powers.

Anakin Quintavius Xayvion Jayden Zephyr was the poster boy of the Sue Order. The entire galaxy knew his magnificent face, as well as his hair, eyes, muscles, and any other part of him you could think of. The other Sues and Stus would've been jealous, had they been so petty as to feel such an emotion.

Though, there was an ever present threat to the perfection of the Sue Order: The Fault Side.

Sues and Stus who fell to the Fault Side became . . . different. Changed. And the threat was just increased by the knowledge that a Dark Lord of the Fault, Sidious, existed somewhere in the galaxy.

The Sues and Stus, for all their beauty and wisdom, did not know the true identity of Darth Sidious. Little did they know he was right under their very noses.

Supreme Chancellor Dantius Palpatine, while not a Stu, was far from a suspect of being the Fault Lord. He was kind, unassuming, and, while power hungry, he tried his best to use that power for the good of all.

So it was just insane to think that the Chancellor could be the Fault Lord.

Though, that was before Anakin started having dreams. His beloved wife, Padme Illiana Sivana Tusa Naberrie Trixiebella Zarina Zea Amidala Kaylee Willow Vontricia Skywalker, a woman who would've been a Sue, if not for the fact that she was, like the Chancellor, slightly power hungry, was pregnant, and his dreams predicted her death.

Anakin, already known to have the special power of foresight, was frantic to find a way to save his beautiful wife. He could, like any Stu, bring himself back to life, but not others. Not for the first time, he cursed the slight fault that prevented Padme from being a full blooded Sue.

Anakin had already consulted the High Council of Sues, but they could offer no advice. Around that time was when he and Chancellor Palpatine had a short discussion at the Opera House.

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?" Palpatine had asked casually while discreetly watching Anakin out of the corner of his eye.

Anakin had, of course, replied negatively.

"I thought not," Palpatine continued. "It's not a story the Sues would tell you. It's a Fault legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Fault, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create . . . life." Palpatine had paused dramatically before continuing. "He had such a knowledge of the Fault Side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying."

Palpatine had had Anakin's complete attention by that time. "He could actually save people from death?" the man had asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Palpatine turned his head fractionally towards Anakin. "The Fault Side is a pathway to many abilities that some consider to be . . . unnatural."

"What happened to him?"

"He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep." Palpatine smiled slowly. "It's ironic, really - he could save others from death, but not himself."

"Is it possible to learn this power?" Anakin demanded, failing to keep the desperation of out his voice.

Palpatine had looked at him knowingly, then, and his smile vanished, only to be replaced by somberness. "Not from a Sue."

Anakin had thought much about their conversation in the Opera House in the following weeks, though he tried to put the idea of turning to the Fault Side out of his head. It was compete insanity. The Fault Side changed Sues. He wasn't sure how, but from the hushed whispers that circulated through the Sue Temple, nothing good could ever came of it.

So, Anakin continued with his Stu duties, one of which was to bring the news of Stu Master Obi-Wan Rian Tevita Vida Dionysus Orion Sirius Bronc Kenobi's engagement of General Grievous, the Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Armies. Anakin prayed that the power of the Force was with his former master and that the fight would be won.

Anakin rushed through the senate building to the Chancellor's office. As soon as he entered the room, the man swivelled his chair around to face the young Stu.

"Chancellor, we've just received a report from Master Kenobi. He has engaged General Grievous."

"We can only hope that Master Kenobi is up to the challenge," Palpatine replied, his voice devoid of any true emotion.

"I should be there with him."

Palpatine nodded sympathetically. "It is upsetting to me that the Sue Council doesn't seem to fully appreciate your talents. Don't you wonder why they won't make you a Stu Master?"

Anakin swallowed. "I wish I knew. More and more I feel that I am being excluded from the Council. I know there are things about the Force they are not telling me!"

"They don't trust you, Anakin," Palpatine began. "They know your power will be too strong to control—"

"But why would they want to control me? Sues live in harmony with one another—"

"Anakin," continued Palpatine as if the other man hadn't spoken. "You must break through the fog of lies the Sues have created around you! Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force!"

"How do you know the ways of the Force?" Anakin asked suspiciously.

A slow smile came over Palpatine's face. "My mentor taught me everything about the Force . . . even the nature of the _Fault Side._"

"You know the Fault Side?!"

"Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, then one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Sue. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Sue, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you. Let me train you."

"You're a Fault Lord!"

Anakin drew his lightsaber and ignited it. He held it to Palpatine's neck.

"Are you going to kill me?" asked Palpatine calmly.

"I would certainly like to!"

"I know you would. I can _feel_ your faults! They make you layered, give you personality!"

Anakin abruptly lowered his lightsaber. "I'm going to turn you over to the Sue Council!" He turned and fled the room.

Anakin, still horrified at the revelation that his mentor was the Fault Lord, fled back to the Sue Temple where he informed Stu Master Mace Gilad Brahma Arwen Wigi Windu of his discovery. Windu immediately gathered several Sue and Stu Masters and rushed to engage Palpatine.

Little did they know, however, that Palpatine had been waiting almost fifty years for that very moment. The Fault Lord drew his saber, and in less than a minute, managed to kill all the Sue Masters save Mace Windu.

Anakin rushed into the Chancellor's office just as Windu managed to disarm Palpatine.

"Anakin!" Palpatine called from his position on the floor. He tore his gaze away from Windu's special purple lightsaber to look at Anakin. "I told you it would come to this! I was _right_! The Sues are taking over!"

Windu made a face. "You old fool!" he spat. "The oppression of the Faults will never return! Your plot to regain control of the Republic is over - you have lost!"

"No, no, no! _You_ will die!" In a movement too fast for Anakin to comprehend, Palpatine's arms shot up and blue lightening shot from his fingertips. Mace stumbled backwards from the force of the Fault Lightening as it hit his special purple lightsaber, but he quickly regained his balance.

"He's a traitor, Anakin!" Palpatine screeched, still wildly shooting lightening.

"He's the traitor!" Windu insisted. "Stop him!"

"Come to your senses, boy!" spat Palpatine. "The Sue are in revolt! They will betray you, just as they have betrayed you! You're not one of them, Anakin!" His voice took on a pathetic, pleading tone. "Don't let him kill me!!"

The lightening seemed to bounce back at Palpatine, and his face quickly began to decay before Anakin's eyes.

"_I_ am your pathway to power! I have the power to save the one you love! You must choose! You must stop him!" Palpatine began to slump over.

"Don't listen to him, Anakin!" snapped Windu.

"Help! Help! Don't let him kill me! I can't hold on any longer!"

"You Fault disease! I'm going to end this once and for all!"

"You can't kill him, Master! It's not the Sue way! He must stand trial!"

Windu raised his special purple lightsaber in preparation for the death stroke.

"He must live . . ." Anakin began, staring at the scene in front of him in horror and confusion.

"Please don't, please don't," Palpatine repeated in a mantra.

"I need him . . ."

"Please don't . . ."

"No!" Anakin screamed as Windu sent his lightsaber in an arc, aiming it at Palpatine's head. Without even giving it thought, Anakin drew his own special crystal cerulean blue lightsaber and struck out, slicing through Windu's wrist.

Things slowed down for Anakin, as if his life had suddenly become a movie - Windu's special purple lightsaber turned itself off as it flew out of the window with its owners hand still attached. Windu himself turned to look at Anakin in shock. Palpatine smiled deviantly and raised his hands, emitting another, more powerful wave of Fault Lightening. The Force energy collided with Windu and sent him spiraling out the window after his special purple lightsaber.

Anakin numbly muttered 'what have I done?' before falling backwards onto a chair. Palpatine's smile grew and he stood up, drawing his hood over his head. He cackled.

"You are fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Fault Side of the Force."

"I will do . . . whatever you ask," Anakin mumbled. "Just help me save Padme's life. I can't live without her."

"To cheat death is a power that only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know that we can discover the secret."

Anakin fell to his knees before Palpatine. "I . . . pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Fault."

As if those words were a magic incantation, Anakin's appearance began to change. His shimmering hair dulled and shorted to barely shoulder length, the color fading from honeysuckle to an average dirty blond. The supernatural glow left his eyes and the violet drained from them, leaving in its wake a normal blue. His skin, while still tanned, became uneven - darker in some places than others. His muscles seemed to deflate, while his skimpy black leather jumpsuit morphed into a concealing loose black leather tunic.

Anakin shrieked at the changes that were visible to him.

"Good, good," moaned Palpatine, practically orgasmic. "The Force is _strong_ with you. A powerful Fault Lord you will become. Henceforth, your normal name shall be simply . . . _Anakin Skywalker_!"

Palpatine cackled at the horror on Anakin's face.

"What?" the man demanded, his voice cracking. "What?"

"To truly become one with the Fault Side, you must give up all but your first and last name. All other names are too Sueish for a true Fault Lord to possess." Palpatine paused. "Unless your first name is something like 'Clydenestra'. Then you can take a middle name."

"But - but . . ." Anakin's lower lip quivered. "First my beautiful, shimmering, nymph-like hair, then my creamy, milky, butter skin and - and—"

"Your eyes?"

"My eyes?!" shrieked Anakin. "My _eyes?_!"

Palpatine raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Anakin. Your eyes. They're just . . . blue instead of violet-blue."

"_Noooooooo_!" screamed Anakin. "No! No!"

Palpatine crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, really, Anakin. You're being melodramatic. The violet really made you look like a girl."

"What?" hiccuped Anakin.

"Violet eyes and long honey blond hair with a name that starts with the prefix 'Ana' really doesn't combine for an image of masculinity."

Anakin hiccuped again.

"So where were we, apprentice?"

"The . . . the murder of my beautiful names, Master."

"Ah, yes. It really is no big deal. My name used to be Dantius Murcutio Dante Jadee Montague Woodville Zipkiyah Yasmuji Saverio Severus Saml Sanborn Savoy Kelvis Cos DeWitty Witwickey Palpatine."."

"But I _can't,"_ insisted Anakin.

"Self denial is the way of the Fault, boy," hissed Palpatine. "Now, _your name is Anakin Skywalker_!"

"Y - yes, my Master," murmured Anakin.

"And, your Fault Lord name shall be Darth . . . Vader."

"Yes, my master."

"Good. Now, Lord Vader?"

"Yes, my master?"

"_Rise_."

Anakin slowly stood up, wobbling on legs that were nowhere near as muscled as they used to be.

Darth Sidious slowly walked towards the communicator in his office while Vader trailed behind him. He pressed a button and a hologram of Clone Commander Cody popped up.

"Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order Sixty-Six."

It would be recorded later in history books that all the Sues and Stus of the galaxy were eliminated within a matter of minutes. Clone Troopers shot down their Stu and Sue commanders on every planet, while Anakin Skywalker led an attack against the Sue Temple. He slaughtered all who walked the halls.

In short, multiple names were outlawed and the galaxy rejoiced.

Long live the Empire!

* * *

**Author's Note:** This story was inspired by SueOrder66's penname. It's meaning is clear: All Sues should be purged from the world! Go and check out her/his lovely Sound of Music story, Opening Windows.

-snarryvader81 (aka Anna)


End file.
